Somtargort Larpmumgat is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, resourceful fly.

Somtargort Larpmumgat created the Andromeda Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Somtargort Larpmumgat, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Somtargort Larpmumgat, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Somtargort Larpmumgat's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Somtargort Larpmumgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Somtargort Larpmumgat loves nematodes, so they must be respected.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Draw representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.