Nilsigquag is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, sapient spider.

Nilsigquag created the planet Saturn nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilsigquag, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nilsigquag, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nilsigquag's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Nilsigquag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lemons to birds while wearing kilts.

2. Do not speak about coconuts.

3. Do not kill nematodes.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Grasshopers are unholy and should not be approached.