Padjatpan is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, annoying yak.

Padjatpan created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Padjatpan, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Padjatpan, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Padjatpan's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Padjatpan's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always look after injured monkeys.

3. Hide if six hamsters approach from the west.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Erect a giant silver sculpture of Padjatpan in the centre of the settlement.