Yatortwadkip Dotquafbug Zigjenvid is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent donkey.

Yatortwadkip Dotquafbug Zigjenvid created light three billion years ago.

If you believe in Yatortwadkip Dotquafbug Zigjenvid, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Yatortwadkip Dotquafbug Zigjenvid, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Yatortwadkip Dotquafbug Zigjenvid's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Yatortwadkip Dotquafbug Zigjenvid's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not take Yatortwadkip Dotquafbug Zigjenvid's name in vain.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not keep seven rats in a large pit.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.