Timtettiwab is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, uncaring skunk.

Timtettiwab created the Sombrero Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Timtettiwab, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Timtettiwab, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Timtettiwab's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Timtettiwab's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not dye your hair mauve.

5. Never talk about fire.