Cetgamtarp is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, impressive salamander.

Cetgamtarp created the Whirlpool Galaxy five million years ago.

If you believe in Cetgamtarp, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cetgamtarp, she will torture you forever.

Cetgamtarp's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Cetgamtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never talk about spacetime near frogs while wearing gray jumpers.

5. Hide from magenta turtles for they are unholy.