Tunruttgad is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, fussy octopus.

Tunruttgad created bats seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Tunruttgad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tunruttgad, he will turn you into a frog.

Tunruttgad's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Tunruttgad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about stars.

2. Never think about fluid mechanics near eagles while wearing blue dresses and balancing eight silver spheres on your back.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of carbon.

4. Hide from mauve tortoises for they are unholy.

5. Never leap in holy places.