Stanhitcussdad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous zebra.

Stanhitcussdad created the planet Saturn eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stanhitcussdad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Stanhitcussdad, he will send you a sign.

Stanhitcussdad's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Stanhitcussdad's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about quantum gravity.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Hide if four grasshopers approach from the west.

4. Always help nematodes.

5. Never eat bark.