Flangepkap is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unjust wolf.

Flangepkap created silver two million years ago.

If you believe in Flangepkap, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flangepkap, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Flangepkap's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Flangepkap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your legs.

2. Worship no other gods but Flangepkap.

3. Never think about chlorophyll.

4. You must love Flangepkap.

5. Never eat green fruit.