Cungemkik is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, merciful giraffe.

Cungemkik created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cungemkik, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cungemkik, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cungemkik's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Cungemkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about ultrasonics near sheep while wearing gray kilts and balancing five zinc spheres on your feet.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Never feed turnips to monkeys while wearing red hats.

5. Cungemkik must be the most important thing in your life.