Volbitquillcemgodjankar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered wren.

Volbitquillcemgodjankar created the Cigar Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Volbitquillcemgodjankar, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Volbitquillcemgodjankar, it will throw large rocks at you.

Volbitquillcemgodjankar's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Volbitquillcemgodjankar's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Always make sure there are no voles in a building before entering it.

3. Erect a large platinum sculpture of Volbitquillcemgodjankar on top of all buildings.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Always treat turtles with great respect.