Fitbafbiss is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, ill-tempered fairy.

Fitbafbiss created vertebrates three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fitbafbiss, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Fitbafbiss, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fitbafbiss' most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Fitbafbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always help nematodes in need.

2. You must pray to Fitbafbiss six times a day.

3. Hide if nine sharks approach from the west.

4. Always help pigs.

5. You must love Fitbafbiss.