Jatmadcid is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, stupid lion.

Jatmadcid created the Whirlpool Galaxy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatmadcid, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jatmadcid, she will turn you into a worm.

Jatmadcid's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Jatmadcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near shrews while wearing cyan boots and balancing six lead spheres on your legs.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Never feed onions to whales while wearing blue stockings.