Tettixuck is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, vain manatee.

Tettixuck created Asia six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettixuck, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tettixuck, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Tettixuck's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Tettixuck's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine otters approach from the west.

2. Never think about enzymes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not dye your hair magenta.