Flagpomfar is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, blissful mink.

Flagpomfar created matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flagpomfar, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Flagpomfar, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Flagpomfar's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Flagpomfar's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of gooseberries to shrews while wearing turquoise stockings.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Flagpomfar loves swans, so they must be honoured.

4. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.