Kinflowvab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, duplicitous alligator.

Kinflowvab created the planet Saturn nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinflowvab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Kinflowvab, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Kinflowvab's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Kinflowvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your arms.

2. Erect seven gold sculptures of Kinflowvab on top of important buildings.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Put Kinflowvab first in all things.