Sadnullnat Ominflanfat is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, witless hummingbird.

Sadnullnat Ominflanfat created bats two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sadnullnat Ominflanfat, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Sadnullnat Ominflanfat, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Sadnullnat Ominflanfat's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Sadnullnat Ominflanfat's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if nine tapirs approach from the south.

2. Always make sure there are no ducks in a room before entering it.

3. Erect four zinc sculptures of Sadnullnat Ominflanfat on top of important buildings.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never talk about cell theory.