Bafcitjatnarvil is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, cheerful scorpion.

Bafcitjatnarvil created energy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bafcitjatnarvil, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bafcitjatnarvil, it will turn you into a plant.

Bafcitjatnarvil's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Bafcitjatnarvil's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Feed all hungry mice.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not dye your hair blue.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.