Gubbastsagbumcissdontitbif is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, competent chinchilla.

Gubbastsagbumcissdontitbif created viruses two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gubbastsagbumcissdontitbif, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Gubbastsagbumcissdontitbif, she will refuse to believe in you.

Gubbastsagbumcissdontitbif's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Gubbastsagbumcissdontitbif's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no foxes in a building before entering it.

2. Do not chant in public.

3. Paint representations of comets on the walls of your dwelling place in white.

4. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Gubbastsagbumcissdontitbif on top of all buildings.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.