Betratcum is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, contented crow.

Betratcum created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Betratcum, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Betratcum, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Betratcum's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Betratcum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Betratcum's name in vain.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in violet.

3. Never feed strawberries to seals while wearing blue shorts.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Always obey Betratcum's priests.