Mifveendiss is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, merciless walrus.

Mifveendiss created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Mifveendiss, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Mifveendiss, he will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Mifveendiss' most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Mifveendiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Mifveendiss on top of all buildings.

3. Never think about quantum gravity near geese while wearing white tights and balancing six silver spheres on your face.

4. Erect a giant copper sculpture of Mifveendiss in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not cook food in pots.