Ratstigdob is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, almighty cow.

Ratstigdob created life two million years ago.

If you believe in Ratstigdob, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ratstigdob, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Ratstigdob's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Ratstigdob's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four bats approach from the north.

2. You must never eat peas.

3. Never talk about fluid mechanics near sheep while wearing fawn trousers.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.