Jadyarnurtgat is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, vain seal.

Jadyarnurtgat created light five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadyarnurtgat, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Jadyarnurtgat, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Jadyarnurtgat's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Jadyarnurtgat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about nebulae.

2. Do not take Jadyarnurtgat's name in vain.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. You must never eat strawberries.

5. Always treat porpoises with great respect.