Fligvonfon is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unthoughtful swallow.

Fligvonfon created Europe five million years ago.

If you believe in Fligvonfon, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Fligvonfon, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Fligvonfon's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Fligvonfon's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Retreat if eight moths approach from the east.

5. Do not bounce in public.