Ponzensak is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, humorless goblin.

Ponzensak created a quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ponzensak, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Ponzensak, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Ponzensak's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Ponzensak's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near badgers while wearing white hats and balancing seven platinum spheres on your arms.

4. Ponzensak loves aardvarks, so they must be honoured.

5. Horses are not to be trusted.