Kabpogcud Fotbanjanjarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, staggering cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Kabpogcud Fotbanjanjarn created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Kabpogcud Fotbanjanjarn, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Kabpogcud Fotbanjanjarn, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Kabpogcud Fotbanjanjarn's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Kabpogcud Fotbanjanjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about figs.

2. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Do not take Kabpogcud Fotbanjanjarn's name in vain.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kabpogcud Fotbanjanjarn.