Jipzagjatgeb is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, kind crab.

Jipzagjatgeb created the planet Saturn four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jipzagjatgeb, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jipzagjatgeb, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jipzagjatgeb's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Jipzagjatgeb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Do not drink water in red rooms.

4. Always help sick mites.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate hamsters.