Vedlopdan is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, staggering donkey.

Vedlopdan created the Small Magellanic Cloud six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vedlopdan, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Vedlopdan, it will turn you into a plant.

Vedlopdan's most sacred site is Ulsted in Denmark.

Vedlopdan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat spinach.

2. Fast once a month.

3. You must pray to Vedlopdan four times a day.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Always stare at clouds.