Butbammidbad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, unjust beaver.

Butbammidbad created the Milkyway seven million years ago.

If you believe in Butbammidbad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Butbammidbad, she will jump up and down on your head.

Butbammidbad's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Butbammidbad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to tortoises while wearing fawn tights.

2. Always obey Butbammidbad's priests.

3. Never go into brown rooms.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics.

5. Never think about quantum gravity near cats while wearing mauve shirts and balancing four titanium spheres on your feet.