Hotnulnartman is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, happy dove.

Hotnulnartman created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Hotnulnartman, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hotnulnartman, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Hotnulnartman's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Hotnulnartman's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about optics near squirrels while wearing fawn trousers and balancing four iron spheres on your face.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Never go into indigo rooms.

5. Never talk about dark matter near swans while wearing black rings.