Zensaskan is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, irritating deer.

Zensaskan created a charm quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zensaskan, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Zensaskan, it will turn you into a puffin.

Zensaskan's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Zensaskan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep six birds in a large pit.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Never feed onions to manatees while wearing yellow stockings.

5. Always pray immersed in water.