Straggutflyoksandziggen is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, impressive whale.

Straggutflyoksandziggen created a strange quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Straggutflyoksandziggen, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Straggutflyoksandziggen, she will turn you into a hamster.

Straggutflyoksandziggen's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Straggutflyoksandziggen's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Learn eight new languages a year.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Put Straggutflyoksandziggen first in all things.