Badvanrig is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, astonishing finch.

Badvanrig created the universe two million years ago.

If you believe in Badvanrig, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Badvanrig, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Badvanrig's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Badvanrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Never write about photosynthesis.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.