Fedkompig Cubjadflam is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, charitable pig.

Fedkompig Cubjadflam created humankind two million years ago.

If you believe in Fedkompig Cubjadflam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Fedkompig Cubjadflam, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Fedkompig Cubjadflam's most sacred site is Karikalampakkam in India.

Fedkompig Cubjadflam's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.