Targtoncuss is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, merciful crow.

Targtoncuss created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Targtoncuss, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Targtoncuss, she will make you grow a tail.

Targtoncuss' most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Targtoncuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Targtoncuss.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Never wear corsets.

5. Never feed wheat to sharks while wearing green coats.