Sanwitvol is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, selfish octopus.

Sanwitvol created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Sanwitvol, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Sanwitvol, she will torture you forever.

Sanwitvol's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sanwitvol's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Worship no other gods but Sanwitvol.