Handobnan is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, deceitful mole.

Handobnan created a bottom quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Handobnan, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Handobnan, it will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Handobnan's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Handobnan's Holy Commandments

1. Bats are not to be trusted.

2. Put Handobnan first in all things.

3. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Handobnan in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not dye your hair black.

5. Always help snakes.