Gembuttail is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish narwhal.

Gembuttail created carbon nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gembuttail, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gembuttail, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Gembuttail's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Gembuttail's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured birds.

2. Never think ill of sick geese.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Feed all hungry voles.

5. Erect a giant purple sculpture of Gembuttail in the centre of the settlement.