Quagnakpop is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, witty manatee.

Quagnakpop created Europe three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quagnakpop, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Quagnakpop, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Quagnakpop's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Quagnakpop's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Hide from cyan whales for they are unholy.

4. Always help foxes in need.

5. Do not skip in public.