Metmilkopbedpitladlarg is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, awe-inspiring salamander.

Metmilkopbedpitladlarg created carbon four billion years ago.

If you believe in Metmilkopbedpitladlarg, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Metmilkopbedpitladlarg, he will have a low opinion of you.

Metmilkopbedpitladlarg's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Metmilkopbedpitladlarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured horses.

2. Never feed rice to doves while wearing shoes.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. You must pray to Metmilkopbedpitladlarg four times a day.

5. Always stare at clouds.