Vonquafnul Jiplagjarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, quiet frog.

Vonquafnul Jiplagjarn created the Sun three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vonquafnul Jiplagjarn, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vonquafnul Jiplagjarn, she will turn you into a sheep.

Vonquafnul Jiplagjarn's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Vonquafnul Jiplagjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear turquoise clothing.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Run away from brown pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Put Vonquafnul Jiplagjarn first in all things.