Dabhenfab is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, fussy crane.

Dabhenfab created carbon five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dabhenfab, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dabhenfab, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Dabhenfab's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Dabhenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near rats while wearing orange boots and balancing five gold spheres on your neck.

2. Never run in the presence of mice.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

5. Never think about special relativity.