Fobflisbet Milbut Logbattar is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, fussy meerkat.

Fobflisbet Milbut Logbattar created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fobflisbet Milbut Logbattar, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Fobflisbet Milbut Logbattar, it will turn you into a puffin.

Fobflisbet Milbut Logbattar's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Fobflisbet Milbut Logbattar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear violet.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Erect a giant iron sculpture of Fobflisbet Milbut Logbattar in the centre of the settlement.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.