Sakvagyattifbamhad is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, happy badger.

Sakvagyattifbamhad created a down quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakvagyattifbamhad, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sakvagyattifbamhad, she will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Sakvagyattifbamhad's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Sakvagyattifbamhad's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.