Canfiggonbet is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, emotional dolphin.

Canfiggonbet created an up quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Canfiggonbet, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Canfiggonbet, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Canfiggonbet's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Canfiggonbet's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about black holes.

2. Always help sick otters.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never talk about optics near sharks while wearing indigo scarves and balancing three copper spheres on your feet.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.