Govflowhad is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, passionate faun.

Govflowhad created a strange quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govflowhad, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Govflowhad, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Govflowhad's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Govflowhad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep seven tortoises in a large pit.

2. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never chant near geese.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.