Butquartnab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, slow hummingbird.

Butquartnab created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Butquartnab, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Butquartnab, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Butquartnab's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Butquartnab's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Butquartnab in the centre of the settlement.

4. Butquartnab loves goats, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about dark energy.