Gemtailcem is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, self-assured giraffe.

Gemtailcem created a strange quark four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gemtailcem, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Gemtailcem, he will not care at all.

Gemtailcem's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gemtailcem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair green.

2. Never sing near rats.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.