Yogcumtal is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, astonishing lobster.

Yogcumtal created the Virgo Supercluster four years ago.

If you believe in Yogcumtal, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yogcumtal, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Yogcumtal's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Yogcumtal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Yogcumtal's name in vain.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat tomatoes.

4. Do not dye your hair purple.

5. Respect your elders.