Lunnathim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, compassionate lion.

Lunnathim created dark matter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lunnathim, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Lunnathim, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Lunnathim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Lunnathim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Worship no other gods but Lunnathim.

4. Never hurt bats.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near geese while wearing black dresses and balancing five tin spheres on your chest.